Gordon's Groupies

I was heading off for a cigarette last Friday (o! Happy days!) when a veritable phalanx of young, blonde lovelies suddenly appeared out of nowhere and mobbed the office of one of the bag-carriers who works just downstairs from me.

This bag-carrier is a decent bloke but outwardly quite unremarkable. Dismissing the idea that spraying Lynx on the underarms does actually attract sexually ravenous girls bent on debauchery, I remained bemused and somewhat jealous. What was going on? After I finished my cheroot and had plodded back up the stairs, I glanced at the BBC to see where we were up to with the reshuffle.

Illumination on a Damscene scale descended upon the Shawcross office: the bag-carrier's employer had just been promoted.

Yup. That'll do it.