That Bojo statement in full
Bear with me here people - I'm trying to summon the enthusiasm

Crikey!

It looks like your favourite Michael Fabricant-alike has got himself in another spiffing pickle. That's right chums! I've put myself forward as the Conservative mayoralty candidate and am all set to cross swords [with Ken's political approach to these matters it's more likely to be something less gentlemanly than swords. Like scud missiles - Ed] with that Congestion Charging newt-faced Labourite, Ken Livingstone.

I'll give you an example of how low Old King Newt is prepared to go in this contest - already his army of evil spinners are putting it about that I'm just a posh toff who tries to cover the gaping hole where his ideology and policy proposals should reside by saying things like "crikey!" and "spiffing!" when it looks like it's getting hairy. "Good old Boris," the serfs laugh as I sail past them with my Eton tie fashionably akimbo, "what a character!" They love a bit of posh in their boring proletariat lives, and I say give the people what they want: more Boris.

So to all those who told me not to run, I say phooey.

London is undoubtedly the greatest city in England, Europe, the world, the universe! Simply superb - apart from the bits that are worse since Ken became mayor such as the introduction of the bendy-buses for which I hold a deep-seated and never-quite-explained loathing. Just why people have to catch the bus at all in London is beyond me - the selfish parasites. I cycle to work every day because I live in a huge mansion in central London. Frankly, the sort of people who have to live out in the sticks because they are on minimum wage make my blood boil with their bendy-bus patronage. Don't give me the "oh, but it only costs me a quid to get eleven miles into work on the bus" excuse. I've always said, if you cannot be bothered to be posh and own a pad in Chelsea, then you aren't in a position to complain. In any case, anywhere outside zone one doesn't really qualify as London. I've never seen the rumoured lands that are supposed to lie beyond Earls Court nor met any of their so-called inhabitants. Labour spin is what I call it!

I suppose I will be pilloried for being a "toff", for representing a small section of society, and all I can say is, be my guest but remember that it's jolly unfair: I do not discriminate on the basis of class or education. But then again, I've always thought Ken Livingstone an extremely common little man.